Q: Is it necessary for the father himself to lead the family worship?
A: Yes! — though leadership does not mean that he does everything. Dad should take the initiative to establish the practice and set the time; he should lead in gathering the family at the set time; he should take charge of the worship time itself. During worship, he may have others read or pray; he may even disciple an older son by letting him lead the whole worship at times; but the father should retain clear control of the family worship time. When the children are grown and away from home, their memories of their father should include hearing his deeper voice reading the Bible to his gathered flock and lifting them all up to God in prayer.

Q: What about those days when it just is not possible to have family worship?
A: Let them be the exception to a very clear pattern. Urge each family member still to have their own devotions, acknowledge the unfortunate break in the family pattern, and let them know you plan to resume the practice at the next opportunity. Ask your wife to lead the family if you will be out of town (no need for them to abandon the Lord just because you cannot be there!). If you are leaving home some day before you have been able to gather the household to worship, you can at least have them stand with you by the door to pray briefly before you go. When our heart is set on honoring the Lord, he will help us improvise ways to do that even when circumstances make it difficult to keep our normal routines.

Q: What if part of the family is gone?
A: Again, there is no need to abandon the principle of family worship just because everyone can’t be there. Of course, if you are reading through a book of the Bible and are discussing it as a family, you may want to set that aside until everyone is together again; but you can still read some passage and pray together. If the absence of an older child is habitual due to too much activity, you will need to adjust their priorities to match those you set for the family as a whole. The normal pattern should be that all family members are present for family worship.

Q: What do we do with disruptive younger children?
A: Exercise patience and discipline. Expect young children to have less ability to concentrate and participate. Perhaps the two-year-old can play with a quiet toy by mother, but should be required to stay by her. We use a small rug for our toddler; she must stay on it and remain quiet during family worship, but I don’t expect her to concentrate on all that goes on. We try to have some songs that the little ones like (with motions) as well as the great hymns (which they also learn to like!). If most of your children are young, you can’t expect to have a very long worship time. Bear with their weakness (Eph. 6:4a), but expect them to obey and never tolerate rebellion. Use the rod if you love your two-year old (Prov. 13:24).

Q: What if the children (or adults) are falling asleep during family worship?
A: You must be having it first thing in the morning or last thing at night. The solution is more sleep. If you meet in early morning, you must establish an earlier bedtime. Late at night may be difficult even if everyone gets adequate rest. Try earlier evening, like right after supper. God has given us enough hours in the day to get enough rest and to worship him. Just keep experimenting to find the most workable plan.

Q: How do we keep our routine on trips, at other people’s homes, or when we have guests at our house?
A: The same way you keep other important routines, like eating and sleeping, under those circumstances: by making time for what is vital. Quests can be welcomed into your family circle for worship, or given the option of being absent while you conduct this important family time. (Who should get more honor, your guests or your God?) When you are guests elsewhere you could gather your clan in a bedroom before the start of the day, or perhaps your hosts would be happy to let you lead in a short devotion if you explain your routine—ask them. Remember, you don’t have to do the whole deal every day if the schedule is off. Just a word of prayer can preserve the family focus on the Lord when everyone knows it is a substitute for a normally fuller practice of family worship.

Q: What if my wife or children are clearly not happy with what I have decided to do—the time, the length, the contents, or whatever?
A: Discern the cause of the unhappiness. If it is rebellion, pray for them privately and humbly remind them that you must obey the Lord in this. If they think it is too early or too long, communicate a genuine openness to do what is best for everyone. Be willing to try other ideas. Your goal is not to insist on having it your way; it is to lead the family to worship God. Listen to them; they may have better ideas than you. You want to make it work for the family, not against them.

Q: What about single mothers?
A: They are the head of their home and must take the place of the father who is not there. However, as they raise sons, they will want to be especially careful to train them toward leadership by teaching them to lead in parts of the worship. Teen age sons could begin to lead the whole thing, exercising a leadership function under mother’s overall headship of the home.

Q: I’ve blown it and failed to have family worship for two weeks after a really good start—now what?
A: This is a critical moment. You will be tempted to give in to the lies of the evil one who wants you to believe "you are the lowest scumbag on earth, you family doesn’t respect you (and why should they!), you will never be able to be successful in this," etc., etc. Focus on the Lord again. Dismiss those lies. Ask forgiveness of God and family and tell them you are ready to get back on track. Get an accountability partner if you don’t have one already. (I told you that step was important!) Figure out if you need to adjust your schedule or modify the content of the worship to make it more realistic and doable. Better to succeed in a small effort that to fail in a grandiose plan. Just remember the Lord wants you to succeed in this even more than you do, and he is committed to helping you do it!