A new year.

I love the first day of the new year - a day to relax and reflect. A day to set up my notebook with a new calendar and new quiet time and prayer pages, to clean out the past year's stuff (some to file and some to throw away), and to put in fresh pages for the unknowns of a new year. A day to start a new devotional book or to once again begin to read through the Bible in a year.

I'm starting this year by using Emilie Barnes' devotional books, Fill My Cup, Lord and My Cup Overflows. I had recently unpacked my teacup collection, which had been in storage for a little over a year, and it was like seeing old friends again. They bring so many happy memories with them of friends and tea parties and brunches. I smile to have them out and around me again. Then I unpacked by boxes of books which also had been in storage, and as I arranged them on the shelves I saw these two books that I hadn't read yet, so I decided it would be good to start the year with them. I hoped they would not only feed me spiritually but encourage me to start using my teacups to minister in my new home and community. I enjoy collecting and using my teacups; it is fun and helpful to use them as an analogy to my life. To think about how my life is a cup that needs to be emptied of sin and then filled by God. To praise God for the overflowing of my cup right now with health and a new house that I'm turning into a home for my family and others to enjoy.

Yes, we have finally moved into our new/old house. It is not all done, but almost. We started moving in on December 18 and spent the next two weeks unpacking and finishing up the move. We had things in storage 45 minutes away. Those last weeks of December were very hard and I cried more than any other period in my life. The pressure to be in by the end of the year, not knowing what the new year would bring, the holidays which I love and wasn't able to celebrate like I had hoped, not being with extended family for the holidays, tensions with Phil over how things should be done - all these things put me on an emotional roller coaster that kept me almost constantly calling out to God for help, for strength and energy, for creativity and organizational skills.

I think that Christmas Eve was my hardest day. I got up and had my quiet time and while I prayed I was asking God for the energy and creativity to be able to get things done for a special Christmas Day for my family. We all needed to rest and enjoy one another and we were all looking forward to the day and it's traditions. I like Christmas. I like making the house look special, to come in from the cold and drab outside to the warmth and sparkle of lights and candles and cheerful, colorful decorations. I love making things special, delightful for my family with our own little traditions that we have developed. I desperately wanted to be able to do them all in this, our new home. I had spent time over the last year thinking and planning how it would be to celebrate in our new house, who we would have over, how I would offer hospitality to the community here. Now here I was on Christmas Eve surrounded by boxes and chaos. So I prayed and asked God for help. He answered but not like I expected….

I thought I'd take the day and organize it to do all the necessary things that would enable me to create a special day for my family. I knew there were too many things to be accomplished by myself but with some help I thought I could pull it off. Well I made the mistake (so to speak) of asking Phil what was on the agenda for the day as I had been rightfully letting him set the moving schedule. Of course, I wanted him to say: take the day and create a wonderful celebration for our family, and how can I help. He didn't. Instead he said this was the day that he, Seth, and I were to move all the stuff out of our rental house basement. As I was struggling to adjust and figure out how this would fit into the day I got a Christmas phone call from my mom. That left me in tears because the reality of not being with extended family for Christmas hit me. I pulled myself together and we left to go move. Sarah volunteered to go do any grocery shopping and errands that I wanted done so I had left my list with her.

It took all day to load the truck since the basement wasn't all packed and organized, and it took all evening to unload. After returning the moving truck, Phil and I returned home around 12:30 a.m. Exhausted physically and emotionally I walked into the house to find a HOME that sparkled with lights and candles and was colorful and cheerful. Boxes had been unpacked or moved to another room so that we had an uncluttered living, dining, and kitchen area. The girls had cut a Christmas tree and put it up, Joanna and Alice had gone out and found greenery and red berries, and Laura had arranged the greenery on the buffet and china cabinet. Even some of my Christmas teacups were out in a delightful arrangement with candy and snippets of holiday ribbon. Sarah had the Christmas Day brunch all made and ready to bake in the morning. I was overwhelmed and humbled and incredibly blessed; even now I can't type this without tears filling my eyes. I had wanted to serve my family, but instead my children served and blessed me.

I had yielded to Phil's plan for the day without arguing or protesting. Outwardly I think I did pretty well, but I battled all day in my heart as it took so long to load and unload and as I saw my plans become impossible dreams. I cried out to God for emotional strength and understanding as I kept reworking my plans and hopes throughout the day. Later I cried out for physical strength as the day wore on. It was a day filled with letting go of my expectations, my desires, my timetables.

As the reality of what was not going to happen sank in, I came to the realization that I needed to have a thankful heart for what was. I began to list the things that I was thankful for: a warm new house to move into (some in our community still did not have that yet), health (no one was sick in the family), the fact that I had a family, the physical strength that the Lord was giving to me, warm clothes (the day was cold and got colder as it wore on, complete with a few snow flurries), and later for a van that kept running in spite of a few stalls and the "check engine" light that kept going on and off as we returned the truck at midnight (nothing is open on Christmas Eve and it was dark and lonely out). It was a good exercise to list what I was thankful for because it helped to give me perspective, and I realized that God was active and working on my behalf. It also got me out of myself and my own selfishness, my wants and desires for how life should be. The day took me to the bottom line of life - do I trust God and his plan for me? Will I bow and submit to it with thankfulness and not grumbling?

In Galatians 6 Paul reminds me that what I sow I will reap. If I don't give up but continue doing good, I will reap a harvest. I reaped an abundant harvest in the wee hours of Christmas Day. I saw that my daughters had picked up the baton of homemaking from me and had by themselves made a special family day for us, complete with all the special touches and good food. I had felt the comfort and love of Drew as he hugged me after my mom's call, when I was crying, and he told me everything would be OK. I had watched Seth demonstrate the character qualities of diligence and hard work as he loaded and unloaded box after box and all with an uncomplaining spirit. Without him and his strength this move would have been impossible.

Here was tangible fruit I could savor, the Lord had been preparing a feast for me throughout the day. Truly with David I could say, "my cup overflows." My quiet time prayer had been answered - not as I had wanted or expected, but even better, because the Lord used my children to serve and minister to me. What more could I ask?. Thank you Lord for doing what was best for me and for allowing me to see some of the harvest of parenting.

I want to dedicate this article to my children as a thank you note. Even though I don't say it often enough, I love you all dearly.