You have probably seen the picture many times before. Some prominent person, usually a politician or statesman, is standing before the podium of some university adorned in full academic regalia. He is addressing the graduates and guests, having himself just been awarded an honorary degree. Not a bad deal: show up and give a speech, and forever after you get to be called "Dr." so and so. None of the rigors of academic study, but you get the title anyway.

I am afraid that too often we men act as if we have been awarded an honorary title called "Family Leader." Very few of us would question that the title belongs to us by God's design, and it does. We nod appreciatively whenever we hear a speaker mention the fact that a man is in charge of his home. We enjoy the trappings of the office, like sitting at the head of the table or being the primary driver of the family vehicle. But family leadership is more than titles and cultural perks. If we want to wear the title with integrity we will not be content to accept it as if it were an unearned degree; we will earn it through the hard work of actually leading our families.

We have previously addressed the need for the man to be the Priest of his family by leading in family worship and engaging in spiritual warfare on their behalf through intercessory prayer. We have also written of his role as family Policy-Maker, the one who must establish the guidelines and principles by which he, his wife and children operate in every sphere of their lives. Now we come to the matter of the father as Program Director.

The concept of Program Director immediately suggests immediacy. It is a "hands-on" title. A Program Director is the one who actually sees that a program is carried out. He receives his orders from a board or an executive, but he is the one on the front line assuring that the plan is executed. Others may plan the work, but he works the plan. In the case of a father it is the Lord who is his superior, his Chief Executive, his Head (1 Cor. 11:3), and the Lord has appointed the father as the Program Director for the family.

It may seem at first thought that if the man is the Policy-Maker (under the Lord) in the way we defined that role in the last issue, then the wife must be the Program Director. After all, her role is to carry out her husband's plans for the home. This is true, but we must not view the man's role as simply setting up guidelines for family operation and then stepping back and letting his wife take over. He must maintain a day-by-day oversight of the actual execution of the policies he sets forth. He must be an involved leader. Yes, his wife assists him by carrying out his plans; but she is his assistant, his helper (Gen. 2:18), and that implies that he is also involved in the process. She is the Assistant Program Director.

The great challenge to implementing the concept of the father as the hands-on leader in the home is the fact that most fathers are absent from the home for the greater part of most days. His occupation generally requires him to be gone about ten hours a day, including most (if not all) of the time typically given over to home education. On top of this, he may have other commitments like church ministries which take him away from the family all evening once or twice or even more each week.

We meet here the heart of the challenge of modern family life for the home educator. The process of homeschooling cries out for the restoration of biblical roles for the man and woman in the home. It cries out for the restoration of the leadership role of the father at a moment in history in which fathers are not there to do the job. This tension has led many families to abandon home education as too emotionally costly: the wife simply cannot bear the burden in the absence of her husband.

Many homeschoolers have come to the conclusion that the movement toward restoring the family to its biblical responsibilities in education may necessitate another movement: that of the fathers back to the home-based business for their livelihood. The logic is almost inescapable. If the home is to be reinvigorated by the resumption of the educational role, then it must have all of its resources available, and this certainly includes the father.

We must be wary of idealizing the past and imagining that our forefathers did not have any challenges in carrying out their God-given callings, but we must also acknowledge that the modern day has some unique difficulties. Industrialization has led fathers away from the home for their employment in greater numbers than has ever been the case before. The big question is this: Is it possible or even desirable to "turn back the clock" and bring fathers back home?

Writing about the need for fathers to be "available" to their families a writer in a national Christian magazine recently had this to say: "They need to be part of their children's lives. Admittedly, today's societal structures mitigate against this. The day of the family farm when families worked, ate, played, and worshipped together is past. So it will take planning, effort, and sacrifice to fulfill this part of successful fatherhood."

Many homeschooling fathers are saying: "The day of the family farm may indeed be past for our nation as a whole, but as for me and my house, we are going to get as close to it as possible. We are at least going to pray and work toward my having a home business or a family business (operated at a place other than our home, but with the family members involved)." Again, the homeschooling option seems eventually to carry most of its practitioners to consider some way to get dad home.

Whether Dad is able to "come home" or not, the author quoted above is right in saying that we still need to make whatever sacrifices necessary to fulfill our responsibilities. If we cannot have a home business, then we had better work all the harder to practice hands-on leadership. This may mean eliminating those evening commitments to the church or the political action group. A father has no business pouring his energy and time into other callings until he has maximized his contribution to his own family.

He may even need to change occupations. If the job requires twelve to fourteen hours a day on a consistent basis, thus eliminating the possibility of his directing the affairs of his household effectively, then there is only one solution: he should find another job that permits him to do his most important job. Surely God is able and willing to give a man employment that allows him to be obedient in his family calling.

Just getting the father back home is, of course, no guarantee that he is going to actually become the Program Director of his family. Whether home a little or a lot he may not be much good to the family if he is emotionally absent from the home. The emotionally absent father is characterized by a lack of interest in what is going on in the home and with the children. He may be distracted by his vocation, his ministry, his hobbies, or by that champion motivation-destroyer, the television. He may be passive about the conduct of the household and hopes his wife will take care of whatever problems arise. He may be lazy and without the desire to exert himself by getting involved in the day to day hassles of family life.

Such a man needs of good dose of repentance. It is a sin to neglect his role in the home, and no excuses about a lack of role models or a lack of energy can cover up his basic need to get serious about his most important responsibility. If a man is lacking the motivation to lead his family he needs to pray for his Father in heaven to share some of his Father's heart, to give him an affection and love for his wife and children that will drive him toward involvement. He needs to ask God to turn his heart toward his children and then begin to act like that turning had been accomplished.

Now let's get down to some practical application of all these principles. One way in which a man can begin to act like the Program Director in his home is through a daily Assignment and Report system. This is especially important for the man who must leave home for the better part of the day to work.

In the morning before he leaves for work (or the night before if his morning departure is too early) the father takes a few minutes with his wife (and optionally the children) to go over the Assignment for the day. This would include especially the school schedule, including specific lessons for the children. However, it would also encompass household chores, family projects, and other activities planned for the day. The purpose is to have a common understanding between husband and wife. He is announcing his plan for his household for the day; she is affirming the plan and her intention to carry it out.

When he returns in the evening he takes a few minutes once again. This time he checks in with both his wife and children to get a Report on how the plan was carried out during his absence. His wife reports on the school lessons and the other activities, making special note of the attitude of the children through the day. Dad looks at some of the school work and asks the children about their day. What is happening here is that he is holding both Mom and the children accountable for their work while he was gone. He in turn is getting the information he needs to be accountable to his heavenly Boss concerning his little domain.

This simple system has the great benefit of keeping the focus on the father as the leader. By verifying the plan before the day starts and checking up on it after the fact, he is at least twice daily functioning in his leadership role. This is good for him as it keeps him involved and responsible. It is good for the children as they realize who is in charge and respect their father as a genuine authority in the home. But this system is especially good for Mom.

Mother is relieved of a great burden God never meant her to bear. She was created to help her husband and carry out his decisions. She was not meant to make the big decisions and enforce them on the children.

Now during the day her role is simply that of carrying out the father's program. The children view her in a different light than if the dad were not involved. She is not the Slave Driver who is making the children finish their math or the Spoilsport who insists that they practice their piano for a full half-hour when they have other things they would rather do. Now she is the Friend and Helper of the children. She is simply trying to help the children meet Father's expectations, and if they are wise they will accept her help. She need not get into a big fight with them about doing their work and keeping a good attitude. The power play is not between her and the children; it is between Father and the children.

She is relieved of being the stand-in head of the family as the focus is back where it belongs: on Dad. She can blossom in her nurturing and supportive role when she does not have imposed upon her the alien role of director and enforcer. This does not mean that she does not give directions and enforce them during the day, but the focus has changed. She represents a higher authority to whom the children will give an account at the end of the day.

This Assignment and Report process is a simple way for the uninvolved father to begin to exercise hands-on leadership in his home. Even if the wife is still doing most of the homeschool planning, he can find out about her plan and give it his stamp of approval at the start of each day. It then becomes his plan.

At this moment in history most of us fathers may need to be physically absent from the home during the day, but that does not mean that we cannot be directing the affairs of our home all day long. It just takes a little more forethought and planning. But then, isn't that what leadership is all about?